Having a healthy self-esteem going into motherhood is very powerful.
You are more confident, better able to ask for help and feel more satisfied with life.
Moms with Low Self-esteem think:
(feeling not worthy of happiness or fearing you won't be okay)
They didn’t invite me because they don’t like me
I’m the fattest/poorest/dumbest one here
I'm the worst mom here since I forgot/failed/can't/won't/didn't
I'm responsible for making others happy especially my kids
They are looking at me because they think I'm a bad mom
Other people don't include me, so they must not like me
I can’t believe I acted like that, they won’t ever call me again
I'm always rehearsing or rehashing conversations in my head
I'm not good enough to be a mom
I fear terrible things happening and I won't be able to handle it
Moms with Healthy Self-esteem Think:
(resilient, taking care of your own needs, loving yourself, trusting others)
They didn’t invite me because they forgot
I see the beauty in everyone
They must be having a bad day that's why they reacted like that
Other people's reactions to me have more to do with them and their history than me.
I listen to my intuition above that of others
My needs are just as important as others
I haven’t heard from her in days, she must be so busy
They know me well enough to know I had a bad day, that’s what good friends are for
I don't waste time living in the past or future
I'm a great mom and will figure things out as I go
I'm lovable just as I am
I'm not responsible for others feelings, happiness, life, or choices
No matter what happens we will be okay
Most of us can’t rely on our mothers and in-laws for free child care. Either they live too far away, it comes with strings attached, it’s too much for them, or they are still working full-time. Times have changed and finding cheap, reliable child care is more difficult.
We've been told that motherhood takes a lot of sacrifice. Time. Money Energy. You might be surprised by the real sacrifices great mothers make everyday.
You've seen countless getting ready for baby checklist. They feature gear, baby room, finance stuff. But this list is about getting emotionally ready for baby. What matters on the mental and emotional level to get ready to be a mom.
There is a difference between getting ready for baby and getting ready for motherhood.
We are going to be highlighting some essential happy mom skills. It won't be anything like time management, laundry, or baking. Just the real skills I've seen moms use that make motherhood enjoyable and family life fun for everyone. All of these "skills" are life long skills and you can easily start practicing them now.
You are off the hook for being completely responsible for your kids’ happiness and feelings. You aren’t responsible for anyone’s feelings.
It seems counter intuitive because we often think a parent’s job is to make their kids happy and give them all the things they need to happy and successful.
The Modern Motherhood Manifesto. 1. I don’t strive to be a perfect mom. 2. I create my own unique version of motherhood.
If you want to prevent loneliness in motherhood, make sure you know how to connect with yourself before you have kids. You will naturally be pulled outward when you become a mom. But knowing how to get back to yourself is invaluable.
If you are worried you shouldn’t have kids because you can’t stand most children, then think again.
You aren’t meant to love and like all children. There is nothing wrong with you if you don’t flip your lid at every baby you see.