One of the biggest fears of having kids is affording them.
So the big question is what do you fear that you can’t afford?
You might be scared they will grow and be mad that you didn’t give them certain opportunities, or that they will lose out on their chance of going to the Olympics if you can’t afford the sports travel team.
Maybe you don’t want them to feel left out or bad about themselves if they get new clothes every school year.
Maybe you want to give them what you didn’t have.
You know your life would be different if you could’ve gotten into a certain school or had the opportunity to hang with the successful crowd.
Where does this fear come from?
Maybe you grew up hearing your parents complain about how expensive kids are.
Maybe you’ve seen your friends going broke trying to raise kids. Or you hear the latest million dollar price tag to raise kids on the news.
Maybe you feel like what you have to offer in terms of love and time isn't enough.
The underlying assumption here is that there is a certain thing, experience, or opportunity that will make you a good parent or that will make your kid's life perfect. There is something to be bought that will make your kids feel loved, safe, and grow into successful humans.
Of course they need food, shelter, clothing, medical care and access to an education. But beyond that what do they need from you as a parent?
"Kids spell love T I M E" - unknown
Kids feel loved and worthy when you are able to model that for them.
Kids feel understood and valued when you are able to be present with them.
You have to feel what you have to offer and who you are is enough for them. They don't need you to be perfect, rich, or successful.
We all know success stories of people who grew up with nothing and still achieved great things. We also know plenty of people who were given every wonderful opportunity in life and they are still miserable at their job and not that excited about life. They traveled abroad, had private piano lessons, they went to a great school. Yet still ended up in rehabs.
It's not about money. It's about time, being a good example, and feeling worthy and enough yourself.
So whatever you have can be enough. There is no magic number. The question is do you feel it is enough.
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Approaching Motherhood is an organization dedicated to empowering women to have a full, happy, motherhood experience. We help provide you with a strategy and a set of tools that will put you on the path to modern motherhood that will leave you feeling competent, empowered, and successful in the next stage of life.